Double Life
by ObsessionOfCastle
Summary: (AU) Kate Beckett is placed in witness protection after she is shot at the late captain's funeral because the shooter is still searching for her. What happens when he decides to target the man she loves and his family? Will she come out of her hiding space once again? Rated T, may become M later on
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is just an idea that popped in my head while watching the last few episodes of Season 3. I don't know how long I plan on making this. I'll just roll with it, until I feel it's fit. I hope this pulls you guys in, and that you guys at least enjoy it (: ~I~_

* * *

Castle rushed behind the rolling gurney that held the one of the people he loved so much that he didn't think he could live on this planet live without. His fast movements were halted by security hands holding him and Katherine Beckett's best friend back as the paramedics rolled her away. He didn't stop staring at that wheeled bed rolling the unconscious homicide detective in his grasp. His mind went completely back to that exact moment he leaped from his spot and onto Kate, pushing her out of the way. He had seen the tiny flash the second before it went off. Why hadn't he jumped sooner? Why did he let her get shot? He slumped down in the chair, head in his shaky hands.

His mother and daughter were around him, as well as the immediate family he had found at the precinct, along with Katherine Beckett herself. Lanie was slumped up against Esposito, who had a hand around her shoulders. Jenny and Ryan were beside them, wiping the tears that would occasionally start to show. Jim had been surprisingly stable at this heart jerking moment. Most of the zombified human beings didn't notice a doctor making his way into the waiting room full of distressed people that cared for this woman whom he had to explain the news.

"Family of Katherine Beckett?" The short man dressed in clean white scrubs. They couldn't have jumped up faster.

"Is she okay?" "Did the surgery go well?" "When can we see her?" So many questions. He now hated telling these people such a cold hearted lie. But, the new captain of the NYPD had authorized this situation.

"I'm so sorry, but..she didn't make it off the table. She lost way too much blood. We've done everything we could.." The doctor had to bite back the tears when he saw the people break down. Castle was the worst. His head dropped just a little, before he picked up his glass he had in his hand and tossed it into the wall, hearing it shatter into a million pieces. He let out a scream filled sob, collapsing back into the chair he had been in. No one else in that waiting room could take this devastating news.

"There's gotta be a mistake..Katie just doesn't die!" Jim declared, glaring towards the sincere doctor.

"I'm afraid there is no mistake..We'd like her blood family, and Ms. Parish to follow us back. We're very sorry.." The man whispered, leading Jim Beckett and Lanie Parish down the low corridor hallway.

* * *

Both people were surprised when they walked into Katherine Beckett's hospital room. She was hooked up to a bunch of machines. A breathing tube flowing out of her mouth. She looked so weak and helpless. That was nothing like Kate Beckett.

"But..she..you said..-"

"The new Captain had given us orders to give her a fake death. She'll be in here shortly. She'll inform you more about this." The doctor quickly left, leaving the father and best friend in the room. The new Captain made her appearance into the room. Black hair, dark skin. She could have been the second Lanie. Only she seemed more stone hard, determined and no one to be teased or joked around with.

"I'm Victoria Gates, new Captain of the NYPD. I've been informed of the detective's condition. She barely made it out alive. This man..her shooter. He'll be after her until one of them drops dead. I won't risk that. When she wakes up, she'll be but in witness protection, given a new identity. At least until we can get this guy in the ground, or behind bars. Only then, can she choose to return to the world as Kate Beckett, or stay her new identity. Only us will know about this new change..it's better it doesn't get around the world. I suggest you get back out to the rest of my people. We'll call you guys back in when she awakes." The boss left, the two shocked individuals following close behind.

* * *

It was two hours since everyone was informed of the detective's death that they were sent home, given the days off until after the funeral. Castle was a complete wreck. He stumbled through the door, his alcohol bottle falling to a heap on the floor. He didn't care to pick it up, why should he? The woman he ever loved truly was gone. Never to return. How was he suppose to become okay? How was he suppose to believe she was in a better place? That bastard stole her away! He shot her down, at a funeral. How was he suppose to eventually over come this grief and believe she's moved on, and not in pain? He slumped his behind into the first chair he could reach, his hands holding the weight of his head as he covered his eyes and let out a sob. No. He wasn't okay. He wouldn't be.

Martha slowly made her presence known as she stood in the doorway. "Richard. I know you are very upset about Kate's death. But, it's not your fault that her life was taken. She wouldn't want you to be down and depressed because she's gone." His mother explained, walking into her son's eye view. "They want you to give the speech at Beckett's funeral." She informed him, noticing his sadness increasing.

"I don't think I can mother. She was so.. extraordinary, maddening, beautiful woman I have ever met. I don't want to say anything out of order about her. I love her so much mother. I'm the one who pressed her about her mother's murder. I should have stopped her from this. So yes, mother. It is my fault. It's all my fault." His head falls into his awaiting hands, a sigh escaping his mouth. He rubbed the center of his head as he let out a sob.

Martha bit her lip, patting his shoulder. "Richard. You've helped her so much. She found out who shot her mother-" Castle glanced up to his mother, waving her off.

"I need time alone, to think. I'll decide whether to recite a speech for her later." He whispered, watching his mother raise her hands in surrender as she marched her way out of her son's office.

* * *

Kate swirled around in a circle, searching the blackened out surroundings as her pants rose and fill into her ears. Her heart was pounding furiously as she flipped her eyes open. Stone tomb stones, flowers atop of many graves as she spied herself standing on a top of a podium, hat on and looking straight around into the faces of the people that wanted to pay their respects tot he recently murdered Captain Roy Montgomery, a hero to the naked eye.

The next second she was looking through the eyes of her other self. The faces extremely closer then before. She glanced over to Richard Castle, who was looking right back. Next thing she knew, she was pinned to the ground with Castle splayed off on top of her. When she didn't feel any pain, she softly pushed him away. Her eyes bulged out of her sockets as she noticed a big red stain of blood soaking through his shirt. It felt like someone had grabbed her heart and squeezed it, hard. She reaches for him. The man she loves, but everything goes black before she can get to him.

* * *

She woke up in a cold sweat, a horrible aching pain coming from her chest, head and stomach.

"Hey, Hey there girl. Calm down. You're going to tear your stitches." Beckett stole a glance towards her left where her best friend, the medical examiner Lanie Parish was sitting in the cold, plastic chair which was set next to the hospital bed.

"A dream..it was only a horrible nightmare." She reassured herself as she made eye with her best friend and her father who was on the opposite side of the bed. "Where..Where's Castle? Is he here?" She asked, wanting to confess her feelings, that what he was feeling was mutual with hers. All she received for a moment were their troubled faces.

"Kate..honey, everything is all complicated." Beckett's eyes narrowed as she eyed her two visitors.

"Complicated, how? Is Castle okay? Did something happen to him?-" Her voice lessened as Lanie's hand covered over her own.

"Girl, Castle is fine. In one piece, just like everyone else. It's just..he believes that you're dead." Kate's eyes couldn't have widened any larger then they already were.

"Dead?! Wh-What? Why?" Her head turned to her right as her father made a soft noise to clear his throat.

"Katie.. mostly every person has the thoughts that you had died from your shooting. You're being put into witness protection. The man that shot you? He's still after you. He's not going to stop until either you, or they end up dead. It's the only option right now, Katie."

Kate's mouth was open slightly ajar. She couldn't believe this. Why didn't she even get a say in this. "No. It isn't. Dad, Lanie. I don't need protection. I can take care of myself. They've already sent others. They are dead, and I'm still here. This is /my/ life. You guys can't just decide to ship me off, with a different name, and story. Not when I'm this close to catching who hired Coonan to kill Mom. I'm so close. I can't just going to move somewhere else, and give up. Not that I'm this far."

"Katie, we have no control over this. The new captain gave this order, and honestly I half agree with it, half disagree completely. I want you to stay here, in New York. I want to be able to see you whenever I want, not have to think of you dead so you can stay alive. Although, I also agree with it. I want you to be safe, and if shipping you off means you're safe, then I want you to go. Your mother doesn't want you to join her just yet, Katie. I think we both know this."

"Castle told me.." She paused for a moment before shaking her head quickly, as if trying to shake the thought she had pooled at the tip of her tongue. "How long do you think I will be staying hidden?" She asked, changing the subject. She saw her friends narrowed eyes and glare, which she avoided. She shifted in her hospital bed so she could see both of the individuals before her.

"Until this son of a bitch is caught, but even if he is caught, you may not be able to go back to the way things were before." Lanie confirmed honestly as she watched her best friend's expressions. Beckett sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before she flipped them open again.

"I'm really exhausted. I have a whole new life ahead of myself. I want to get some good, much needed rest." The two visitors nodded, understanding her wishes. "We'll come back in a little while, to see you off." The ME whispered, following the patient's father out of the room.

* * *

_A/N: That's the first chapter. I hope I can go through with this story. I gave it a lot of thought, and I want to try it out. I may do a good job. I may do horrible. We'll have to wait and see I guess. Anyway, feel free to give me your thoughts. I'll try to update once a week, I won't give a specific date because I could get busy and not upload it that day. I'll try to have it up by late next week. As my 17th birthday is Tuesday, and I have an appointment to donate blood on Wednesday. So, we'll see how it goes. ~I~_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I've updated..Here you go. Enjoy. ~I~_

* * *

The wind was flowing through his daughter's hair as he watched the soft sparks of a mythical fire spring up from the roots. They had already been hit with the loss of the great Captain Roy Montgomery, who everyone thought died a hero. Only the small, immediate family knew the truth. Now, they lost Katherine Beckett too? This was devastating. No one should be here, this funeral shouldn't even be happening! Neither Kate, nor Montgomery should have been killed.

Rick's eyes spied along his partner's coffin, the black soft tile covering the top of the cage that supposively held the recently deceased detective closely in. He had agreed to recite a speech in memory of his friend, his partner, but more importantly the woman he loved. He wanted everyone else to be able to picture what he saw. See what he saw. He didn't want to at first, scared he'd get to emotional and break down in front of these people. They wouldn't blame him, or judge. It was understandable to let tears fall at a funeral. Someone special passed. To some people, crying was how they coped. To others, it was a weakness.

Rick didn't know what was going to happen the moment he stepped onto that podium. He didn't know if he would let out a held in sob, or speak freely with no breaking down. At this point he really didn't care. All he wanted to accomplish was have everyone see the person he saw. The Kate Beckett he got to know and love. He cleared his throat, as the words he had at his tongue replayed in his mind.

"Katherine Beckett, was a remarkable woman. Someone I cared for. Someone I wanted to keep close to my heart. I kinda of pushed my way into her life. She didn't want me around, and I was more or less an ass towards her." He heard a few snickers in the crowd. "But I wouldn't take it back for anything. I helped her solve cases, got close to her and found people I could actually call friends. Not the kind that us authors have in the writing industry. True friends, ones that you can go out for drinks, talk to. I lost one of those today. She was a tough girl. I never had an encounter with someone so tough, guarded as her. But it was fun to get to know her. She's truly extraordinary. She was more then just an inspiration for a book. She was a friend, a partner. I will continue to remember her as a such. I will miss her extremely. Rest in peace, Kate." He whispered the end, glancing down at the coffin out in front of him.

* * *

Everyone had soon piled out of the cemetery where it was just Rick, his mother, daughter, Jim and the NYPD family. Jim pulled the saddened man to the side, away from the hugging family. "Rick. I'm telling you this from experience. I know Katie's death is hard for you. Hell, it's hard on all of us. Don't make the same mistake I did with Johanna's death. I thought the drinks would help, but they made everything worse. They will only ruin your life. Drinking won't solve it, or bring her back. As much as we all want it to." He explained, his sorrow filled eyes searching the younger male's sad blue ones.

Richard could only think about the few nights ago when he was swigging down as much of the alcohol bottle as he could. He knew her father was right, the drinks wouldn't help. He needed to find another way to cope. An appropriate way. He nodded a few times, understanding the man's wishes.

"Yeah. I-I'll keep that in mind." He promised, receiving a soft hug from the victim's father. Poor Jim had nothing left. Wife gone, daughter gone. He didn't know how the guy was still coping in such a way._ 'The best he can'_ He thought to himself as he gave and received hugs from anyone else that needed one.

* * *

It had been about a week and half since her 'funeral' and the doctors were thrilled with her progress and decided she was good to leave the following morning. Everyone was coming today to brief her over to where she was being relocated to, what new identity she would be possessing, employment issues and discussions and to answer any questions she may have. Honestly, all she wanted to do was sleep for the rest of the day. Unfortunately that wasn't a choice in her book.

It was about five in the afternoon when a knock surfaced to her ear from the door. She had been engrossed into the latest book Castle had put out of the Nikki Heat series. She had yet to read it.

"Come in." She mumbled, slipping her bookmark far into the page she was on and closing the catchy book which she set on the small stand besides the roller bed. Her father, two men in uniforms and a woman appeared into her view as the woman shut the door behind them.

"Katherine Beckett?" The shorter male asked, which she assumed was to make sure they had the right person. When she nodded the taller fella cleared his throat.

"We've come to discuss where you new whereabouts will be and your new identity and the things you have to remember." She nodded, already knowing why they were here. "I'm Officer Marnty and these are Officers Keating and Steele" The shorter man huffed while the woman waved a hand.

"Miss Beckett, We've come to the conclusion that you will be living in Boston, Massachusetts. We've already got an apartment set up for you and the landlord's very nice. We also decided you could pick your new job you'll be perusing so the only thing else we really need to be discussing is the name you'll be using." Officer Steele handed over the ID's and cards she was holding to the woman. Kate looked down and noticed the name _'Kayla Donovan'_ printed on all of them.

"Your new identity will be known as Kayla Elisabeth Donovan. Your parents died when you were in your early twenties from a car accident. You're thirty one years old and have no siblings, no boyfriend and no other living relatives close to you. We'll have someone arrive tomorrow morning when you get discharged to take you to Boston. Just stay on the low side and make sure no one figures out who you are." The woman informed, saying goodbye as the males followed her out.

* * *

Kate was so overwhelmed, as many thoughts clouded her mind. Where was she going to be staying? What job would she pick up until she found something she really wanted? More importantly though, should she tell Castle that she was really alive? Tell him that the feelings he had were mutual to hers? She didn't think she could. She was so scared of what she felt.

So it was settled then, she wasn't going to let Castle know she was alive and well. Lanie was her best friend. There was no way she wouldn't be able to not tell Lanie. She'd need her there when she needed some girl talk. Of course, she'd use a different name and keep it to a down low level and not call all the time but, she couldn't let him know. Not when he confessed his undying love her for when she was lying on the ground, dying in his arms.

No, it would wait. She wanted to not be scared of these bubbly feelings, the butterflies prancing around in her belly before she could have a serious conversation about her love for him. She just didn't know if she'd get the chance now. She leaned back in her hospital bed. Her visitors had left about ten minutes ago. All she wanted was rest before she faced the big bad world. She could still hear his pleading voice as her mind and body fell into the welcoming darkness.

* * *

_A/N: Thoughts?_


	3. Chapter 3

The day had finally came. She was finally getting out of this room with the walls and furniture she became familiar with. The faces she had grown to know right off the bat. She was finally leaving. It was both a good and bad thing. She was happy to get out of the hospital. She hated hospitals. The bad thing was, she probably wouldn't be able to see anyone from her old life ever again. All because this maniac was after her, wanting to put her in the ground.

She looked down at the clothes Lanie had brought over for her to wear when she got out of the dreadful gown. The tank top and knee length pants along with a pair of slip on shoes looked okay on her. The look wasn't something she really cared for at the moment, but it would work for now. She'd get something later on.

She looked up into the mirror, staring into her own hazel eyes as she studied her reflection. She moved a strand of her brown hair behind her ear, seeing if it looked better to she was satisfied and told herself to get a move on, she walked out of the small bathroom and sighed. She tried to swallow the invisible lump in her throat as she padded out of the room.

One of the officers that were assigned to watch her room, and let visitors in that were allowed, escorted Kate down to the main lobby. She hurried out to the car outside waiting to take her miles away to Boston, Massachusetts. When she was settled into the back, he started the engine and started the long drive.

She had been able to bring a few things with her, which some people have brought her. Mostly it was just the books Richard Castle had wrote, a few photographs she wanted to have, as well as some other stuff she wanted to have with her. She turned her head and looked out the window as the scenery passed her by. This was going to be a long trip.

* * *

Richard Castle slumped against his desk, groaning in frustration. He was bothered with either picking to quit the Detective Heat series and start something new let on or to continue the series without his stunning inspiration or his 'muse'. She hated when he called her that. He could just hear her in his head. _'Call me a muse and I'll break both your legs.'_

He chuckled aloud, shaking his head as he rubbed his temples. This was a hard decision. He had no clue what he wanted to do. He knew very well though, if he was quiting he wasn't going to kill her off. It would just bring back those harsh and sad memories. He didn't want Heat to leave tragically like Beckett had to. It was painful enough. He needed other input. It was too much for him to just decide.

He got off his seat, pushing in the chair as he made his way out of his office and into the rest of his loft. He needed some comfort food and other opinions on the situation. He dragged out the carton of Neapolitan flavored ice cream and sat himself on his couch, eating out of the tub as he stared at the blank blacked out television. He didn't have this much trouble when he killed off Storm. Then again, his inspiration hadn't died tragically, so it really wasn't a hard thing to think about.

* * *

Alexis had been up in her room for what seemed like the longest time. She was still dealing with her inner self thoughts about Katherine Beckett's death and how it affected her father's behavior. She was grateful he hadn't started to drink to drown out everyone else. She was sure everyone was thankful for that.

She wasn't blind, and she wasn't dumb. She knew her dad had some sort of romantic feelings for the late detective. She was sure the only ones that couldn't see it was Kate. Or, she had just chose to ignore it. She didn't know. She knew her father had informed Paula and Gina of the Muse's death. Gina showed a little remorse, hoping she rested in peace, where as Paula didn't seem to care and asked if he was going to continue the series or not.

He had three weeks, although Gina gave him one more, just so he could be comfortable with the decision. Something wasn't right though. She didn't know why, or what about, but she just couldn't figure out what was wrong with this whole death thing in her head. Something seemed fishy, out of place. She just couldn't figure out what it was.

She grew hungry and decided to go downstairs and grab a small snack before she went go study for a term test coming up in a few days. What she saw saddened her. Her dad was curled on the couch, his legs against the arm rest as his heavy breathing indicated he was in a deep sleep. She could also hear someone's answering machine in the background, only it seemed to keep repeating.

"This is Beckett. Can't come to the phone right now. Leave me a message and I'll call you back when I can." She sighed. He was always trying to be strong, trying to act like nothing was wrong. But she knew he breaks down. She knows he cries in his sleep. He tries to be okay. It breaks her heart to see him like this.

She leaned over and turned his phone off, hearing the soft beep as she looked down into her father's eyelids. Once she had gotten her small snack ate up, she headed back up to her room.

* * *

Katherine had fallen asleep for most of the ride through the hours of things passing by.

"Miss Donovan? We're here." The driver, Oliver informed her as she came back to her senses. She was in the car taking her to a far away place. She rubbed her slightly aching head and pulled some money out to pay him for his deed, to which he declined, saying it wasn't a problem. She smiled softly, stepping out of the car with her small amount of belongings.

She looked at the apartment building as she heard the car speed off behind her. She bit her lip softly as she took in a breath. When she exhaled it, she regained her footing and ventured into the building. She stepped up to the front desk where a lady was typing at a small desktop computer behind a small little desk.

"Mhm. Excuse me?" The young girl turned her head, waiting for the questions to pop. "I'm Kayla Donovan, I'm suppose to be the new resident of Apartment number.." Kate glanced at the writing on the small piece of paper.

"6N" The small voice of the girl explained, digging through something until she handed the ex-detective a key on a key chain. "We got faxed the information that you were going to be a new resident. Here is your key. We'll send you more information on the Apartment building and when billing days are and everything tomorrow. Have a great day." The girl said, her attention going back to the computer in front of her.

Kate blinked for a moment before nodding and heading to the elevators. 'Well. That's done and over with.' She thought to herself as she rode the empty elevator to her floor. She stepped out on the 6th floor and ventured down the hallway until she came upon the door, '6N'. She unlocked it and stepped into her already mostly furnished home. She shut the door behind her, latching and locking it as she fell onto her sofa, sighing._ 'It's been a long day, I need a nap'_ She thought as she let the darkness kidnap her again.

* * *

_A/N: Thoughts?_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: The updates may be longer then usual, as school is starting and I'm waiting to hear back from a home schooling place to see if I got in so. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. ~I~_

* * *

Katherine groaned, tossing and turning swiftly in place as she tried to make herself comfortable again. She didn't care that the sun was trying to make it's presence known through her soft curtains and finding her face. She turned away from the blinding window, curling uncomfortably into a ball on her right side. She wrinkled her nose and closed her eyes, praying the darkness would take her away again.

Dying minutes passed before Kate had had enough. She pushed herself up into sitting position, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before pulling the comforter up over herself as the cold air contacted her bare, almost naked skin. The warmth was addicting, as she just sat in that position for a while, needing the hidden heat like she needed the air. She rolled her eyes as she cursed herself for letting the unused twenty minutes instead of using it wisely.

She tossed the blanket away, revealing her soft, lace peach bra with matching panties that was allowing the shivers and goosebumps to form. She swung her legs over the side, stretching her stiff muscles as she yawned cutely before clamping her mouth shut once again.

She got herself a nice, warm shower that she could use the little time to think of things, wondering what kind of job she should try to get, until she figured out something she really wanted. She thought about just getting a small job for a moment. Just to be able to provide for herself, until she could figure out what kind of career she wanted to go for.

She turned the water off and dried her skin before slipping on a blue t-shirt and jeans before she wandered out of her bedroom and into the kitchen to dig through the refrigerator to find something to sooth and fill her empty stomach before she went out into the world, and find a starter job for herself.

She finished her peace of toast and orange juice as she slipped on her shoes. At least this time, they weren't heels. Once she put her phone in her purse along with a few other things, she left her new apartment, locking it behind her as she thanked the doorman on the way out when he held the door for her.

* * *

She did some walking around before coming upon an ice cream shop that a big "Hiring" attached to the top. It wasn't too far from her apartment, and it would pay for the small amount that she had to get done with her apartment. It would work till she figured out what she really wanted.

She walked in, hearing a soft ding of a bell when the door opened. It must have been a small thing that alerted the workers someone new had came in. A young man, looked up from the book he was reading and met Kate's eyes. "Hello, lovely lady. How can I help you?"

Kate bit the inside of her lip, looking around nervously as she cleared her throat. "I'm here to try to get the new hiring job.." She informed the man. He stood his feet quickly, opening the small gate that connected the customer's side and the cashier's side.

"Right this way. The Manager's office is in the back. Just tell her you're here for the job and she'll get on with it." The guy winked at her, returning to his post as a few teenagers hurried in, wanting to be served. Kate blushed slightly when he winked but brushed it off quickly and ventured towards the back. She found what seemed to be the manager's office and knocked half softly and half loudly.

"Come in." A voice welcomed as she walked in. The woman looked in her late 30s early 40s as she glanced up to Kate's small form. "And who would you be?" She asked, with a slight coldly tone.

"I'm Kayla Donovan, and I'm interested in this hiring job." Kate explained, sitting down in the chair in front of her when the woman offered it to her. The woman, who's name turned out to be Karen Strauss and Kate talked freely about the job, "Kayla's" personal life, and other jobs she might have had along with some other topics.

"Miss Donovan, normally I would be telling anyone else that they would hear whether they got the job in a matter of days, but seeing that you're the only person interested in the job in the weeks since we put the sign up, and that you seem like you'd be find for the job, I don't see on making you wait. Can you start tomorrow?" Kate nodded, shaking her new boss' hand as she thanked her, being handed a work suit and name tag as well as told what time she is suppose to be here and when she is suppose to leave. "I'll see you, bright and early Miss Donovan."

"You certainly will." Kate promised, nodding in agreement as she made her way out, feeling the cashier's eyes, who's named seemed to be Daniel on her as she did. She let out a sigh, making her way back towards her apartment building. Well, her job searching time was done, and she could relax, take a soothing bath as she read her books before she made her apartment more homing.

* * *

Kate arrived back to her apartment in about 10 minutes time, walking. Whenever she got a car it may be a faster way to get there and she'd have more time to other things, etcetera. She made herself a turkey sandwich with cheese as she swallowed it with milk before she turned her television on, listening to the random channel it turned to as she repositioned, added things, and got rid of stuff as well.

It got darker as the day went on and Kate started her bath water, making sure it was at a reasonable temperature as she stripped herself of her clothes, and slipped into the warm, soaking water as she closed her eyes, feeling the warmth against her bare skin. Her lids flipped open again as she reached over and picked up Castle's latest Heat novel, maybe his last.

She had no idea if he would continue writing with her 'dead'. She was completely worried. She just wanted to pack her stuff and appear at his door, explain why she had to fake her death and tell him, show him how much she really loved him. But she couldn't, and she wouldn't. It wouldn't just put her in danger. If her sniper knew she was alive, and Castle knew. He could go after him. No. He wasn't allowed. Not yet at least. She shook her head, trying to shake the thoughts out as she started to read and clear her thoughts.

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Sorry for the delayed updates. I've started school and everything's been hectic. Plus, I haven't feeling too great about updating.. Anyway. Enjoy. Oh, and one more thing. To let you all know, Sorenson will /not/ be in this story. I can't stand him so.~I~_

* * *

_-A month later-_

Richard Castle stood in his bedroom, looking at himself in the room, 'checking himself out' his daughter explains. He only wanted to see how ruggedly handsome he looked in the outfit he was going to be presenting in at the red carpet. He had finished the Nikki Heat series, giving the character a better ending then the one his love had. He finished her with the gratification of solving her mother's murder and putting the son of a bitch down into the ground.

He fiddled with the tie around his neck, becoming a bit nervous. He badly wished Beckett was here. Just enough to hug her and see her smile one last time. He cleared his throat nervously and ran a hand through his hair, watching it bounce back to its position as he turned, seeing his daughter in front of him, tapping her foot. He didn't usually drag his family with him to the parties he always was told to attend. He didn't want his daughter bothered into the spotlight too much. It didn't seem to bother her a great deal though.

"Come on, Dad. Stop rearranging your suit and get out of here! If we're late again, Paula will have your head. Remember last time?" She nicely reminded him as his memory drifted back to Paula grabbing the back neck of his shirt and pulling him away from the crowd and humiliating him in front of all the others.

"Too much. Come on, let's go see if your grandmother is finished looking "magnificent" yet." He questioned, guiding his daughter out of his bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Martha clapped her hands twice, smiling.

"Chop Chop! Let's get the move on. Hopefully I got some fish to reel in." She winked, laughing when the two groaned.

"Grams, I don't need to know that!" Alexis whined as her father shook his head.

"I think we need to get you fixed..." Richard teased, earning himself a smack on the arm from his mother.

"Richard!" His mother exclaimed, shaking her head as she walked out after her granddaughter.

* * *

The moment he emerged from the limousine, he was greeted by dozens of flashing cameras. Oh for heaven's sake, couldn't they just, lay off the flashing annoyances? He stepped out, letting out his daughter and mother. He slipped an arm around his daughter's shoulders, the red head looking straight ahead, glancing once or twice to the cameras that would accidentally get in her face when they tried to capture her father, the whole family as well as her grandmother and herself a few times. Once they were safe in the doors from the red carpet, Castle let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Well, at least we're here." He explained, letting go of his daughter as they made their way into the big room. A bunch of tables, bars with stools, a dance floor and of course a number reporters, wanting to get the big scoop, to let all the fans know what's happening in everyone's life, their talent lives etcetera.

The Castles sat themselves at the bar, Alexis pulling out a few homework papers to do while her father got interviewed and requested to sign books, hands and of course…chests. Although, he hasn't done it in a long time. She sat herself down, ordering a glass of water as she took a soft sip, turning her attention to the homework she brought to occupy herself.

Richard was dragged around by many impatient reporters, wanting to get the big scoop. His book, his love life. They barely brought up the topic of Katherine Beckett or how her sad death affected him. It wasn't until this young girl, about early twenties who smiled softly at him, asking him about how he felt about how he ended the book. To which, he answered he was glad he could give Heat the closure she deserved.

"What about Detective Kate Beckett? She was the muse right? I heard she died a horrible death. How are you coping with that?" Castle tried to swallow the rising lump in his throat at the mention of her name. He still broke at times, at home. Alone in his room when he would try to believe she wasn't gone and she would call him, telling him there was a case. She never did though, and it hurt him greatly. He didn't think he'd ever completely get over her death. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve to die. All the victims never deserved that. Especially ones like her, and her mother who tried to save those innocent people, and put the ones who took their lives away, so they couldn't hurt anyone anymore. He came to his senses and cleared his throat.

"Yes. She died, a horrible death. I'm coping the best I can. She was a great friend, someone I considered family and it's heart breaking to know she's gone. I still feel she's in a better place, with her mother. But I just wish she didn't go like that. She helped so many people, she didn't deserve to be remembered, as a shooting victim. She deserved better than that." He explained, wiping a stray tear as the reporter thanked him and went along her way.

* * *

The night went as any old party would be until it was almost time to head home, get some tea and cuddle on his bed and mourn the death of the woman he loved. He needed it after that interview. Paula dragged him over, giving him a look.

"I've scheduled two book signings in the span of a week. One on Tuesday, and one on Saturday. Next week. Both in Boston. Think you can make it? You skipped the last two I put together." Paula asked coldly, crossing her arms. The best selling writer nodded, marking the two dates in his head so he could place them when he got home.

"I'll be ready to fly there on Sunday afternoon." He reassured her as she nodded once, confiring it in her brain as she walked off after saying, "Oh, and forget about that girl that passed on. She's gone, not coming back. It's time to move on with your life. I'm sure she'd want that." Castle just sighed. Paula didn't understand. She didn't lose a loved one. He just rolled his eyes slightly and took his two girls home.

* * *

Kate had decided to get herself some actual stuff for breakfast, instead of living the way she did when she was a cop. She cooked her eggs and bacon together as she looked at the clock. She had an hour to eat and get to work. She turned the stove burners off and fished out her eggs and bacon as well as swiping a small amount of butter onto her piece of toast before sitting down at her small table and eating her first meal quickly as she downed the small glass of orange juice. She wiped her mouth with the napkin and rinsed off the plate before sticking it in the sink and slipping her shoes on as well as grab her purse.

It took her a little while to get there before she was greeted by her colleague and friend, Lina Williams. Lina was a cashier as Kate prepared the ice cream of choice. She smiled slightly, feeling the hug of her younger friend. "God, I still love that dark hair of yours!" The girl grinned, hurrying into the store upon seeing people walk in. Kate quickly glanced down at her hair. She had dyed it black a week after she arrived in Boston. She thought it would help her keep up the "I'm Kayla. Kayla Donovan" appearance. She followed the blonde haired worker in, hearing the order from the teenage boy.

"One mint Oreo with chocolate syrup coming right up!" She told the boy, opening the small gate into the shop as she went over the machine, feeling Daniel's eyes on her, once again. Lina warned her about him, not that she was interested anyway. He was a womanizer, played with girl's feelings, then dropped them and picked up another one. He seemed to be sweet and innocent, but would show his true colors later on. She filled the small cone with the Mint Oreo flavored ice cream and put applied some chocolate syrup before she walked back, handing the sweet treat to the boy who had just paid for his cold deliciousness.

It had been hours that they had fulfilled customers' requests and were doing well for the day. It was about 8pm when the shop flipped the OPEN sign to CLOSED. Kate removed her work hat, sticking it in her small business locker which she retrieved her purse from. She held her purse close, waiting for Lina to get her stuff ready. Her friend was staying for the night, wanting to discuss something important with her. Daniel decided he was going to come up and speak to Kate while she waited. They talked peacefully for a bit before he asked her a question which blew her mind.

"So, you're single right? Cause I would love to go on a date with you." He licked his lips like it was supposed to be sexy or irresistible. Kate shook her head almost immediately, watching Lina make her way over.

"No. I don't think I'd love that. I'm not interested in you. You'll find someone though." Lina scoffed as Kate walked out.

"Who would want to be with you?" She said rudely, making her way down the street with her friend as Daniel glared behind. He would get 'Kayla' to succumb to his charm, sooner than later.

* * *

Kate made the themselves some hot dogs, snacking out with popcorn and sodas afterwords as they watched movies together. When their fun time was over and it was almost time for bed, Lina asked a question, Kate wasn't ready for.

"So, you know Richard Castle? The author? Please tell me you do!" Kate gulped, taken aback by this question but nodded anyway.

"Yeah. I do. Why?" Her friend grinned.

"He's having two book signings next week. Tuesday and Saturday. I was thinking we could go together on Saturday? As we won't be working then. Please? I have a book I /really/ want to get signed, and I don't want to go by myself." Kate pondered for a moment. What if Castle saw her and knew exactly who she was? She'd be done for. She'd just had to cover herself go. At least she could see how he was doing, from the outside, and she couldn't turn down her friend.

"Sure. We'll go Saturday." Kate sent her a soft smile as she grabbed a blanket and pillow from her closet and got her friend settled on the pull out couch before getting dressed and climbing into bed, sleeping around 1am, after all she could think about was next week.

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	6. Chapter 6

Castle sat in his plane seat, his laptop closed on his lap with his phone in his hand. A sad facial expression splayed across his face. He was going through the pictures on his mobile device and came across a picture of the gang. His gang. His team. Esposito, Ryan, Kate and himself all smiles. It was a birthday party for Ryan at the Old Haunt. Castle had one of the bartenders take a picture of them all. He smiled sadly, looking from each individual. His eyes halted at Kate's face. Her beautiful smile, how close she was to him. A small tear filled with salty liquid teased the borderline of his eye before it broke the barrier and trailed down his cheek to rest on his chin.

The lady came back with his order. A small bagel and a cup of coffee. Castle didn't even register she was standing in the isle. He was too busy staring into his passed friend's smiling face. He heard a soft sound of the girl clearing her throat. He immediately looked over, turning the phone screen to black and sticking it in his pocket. He put the small tray in front of him down and took the offering breakfast. He thanked the lady as she walked up from him to tend to a different customer.

He feasted on the small bagel with butter and jelly before he sipped his coffee. He frowned when he drank it. The coffee was great, don't get him wrong. It just reminded him too much of Kate. Kate Beckett. Oh how much he missed her. He traced back his footsteps and smiled, remembering he, Alexis and his mother had gone to the cemetery, and stopped in front of the late Detective's grave. They all set flowers in front of the tombstone. Castle whispered to the air, about all he's done, and that he missed her. Even though his love wasn't there, he felt like she was watching him. Standing over her tomb, whispering soft, reassuring words to her.

He bit back a sob as he handed the trash to the cleaning lady who went through when he was finished. He leaned back in his seat, glancing out the window, looking at the clouds and the itty, bitty ground below. Moments later, sleep had taken over him.

* * *

Kate had paced back and forth around her small kitchen. Lina had called minutes before, saying they had to go clothes shopping. Not that they really needed to. It was just a book signing. It wasn't that they needed fancy. But Lina insisted they get somewhat fancy dresses. "It's a book signing in this big ballroom. There'll be drinks, alcoholic as well." She mumbled the last part. "Small dancing floors, along with a small little eating room set up. You can't just go in casual clothes."

Her worried thoughts were interrupted with the fast knocks on her door. She hurried over, looking through the peephole inside of the door. Lina was pounding her fist away against the wood.

"Kayla. Kayla. For heaven's sake, Kayla!" Kate quickly swung the door opening, looking into her friend's excited face. "You ready? We have 3 hours to shop, get ready and be there. Gosh, I can't wait! I'll finally get to meet thee Richard Castle."

Kate watched as he friend fangirled in the hallway as she grabbed her keys, locking the door as she made her way down to the lobby, getting into her friend's vehicle. Kate relaxed against the leather seat, closing her eyes to rest for the small time she had. Lina shook her awake when they arrived at the "best dress shop in town." Kate stepped out, looking at the big **'DESTINY'S PATH'** sign hanging above the double doors of the store. She had a good feeling about this store. Lina grasped her upper arm, dragging her in.

Lina and Kate went through a lot of different dresses. Lina finally agreed with one somewhat dark green spaghetti strapped dress that stopped right above her knees. She had rummaged through the hair extensions, trying to find one that matched her dress along with some green shoes to go with her outfit. Kate was still picking her top five dresses that she liked and that fit her, then she was going to have Lina pick the best from them. Lina had finished her outfit, and decided it was the one she wanted and changed into her original clothes, paying for her dress, extension and shoes as she sat on the small bench, waiting for Kate to come out with the first dress.

Kate walked out, showing a soft, dark blue dress that had small straps on the sides that were as wide has her hands. Lina shook her head, thinking it didn't give a lot of cleavage. Kate switched into a black spaghetti strap dress that almost was identical to the one Lina had bought. Only, the dress became wider as it went from her waist. Lina looked at her for a few minutes before she shook her head. Kate went back in and came out with a middle shaded orange strapless dress. Lina shook her head. She didn't think the color orange looked good on Kate.

When Kate came out with a strapless red dress that stopped just below her knees, Lina stared wide eyed at her friend. "Oh my..Kayla. You look so beautiful. We're totally going to get you laid with this." Kate's eyes widened.

"Lina!"

"What?! It's true. Maybe we can even get Mr. Castle to sign your chest. Hopefully he will. I think you two would be perfect. If not you, then me of course." Kate rolled her eyes, thinking about when her and Castle were still working together. She still had these dying love feelings for him, and she hated that she wasn't able to tell him. Ever since she moved to Boston, she hasn't even talked to her family or anyone from her old life. She didn't think it was worth it. Putting them in danger. She had Lina and for her, that was enough. For the moment at least. The clerk came over, smiling softly.

"Your friend's right. It looks beautiful on you, dear. Red is really a good color on you." Kate smiled, feeling good by the compliments on the dress she picked out and changed back into her regular attire. She paid for the dress after getting a small blood red hair tie and matching shoes. Five minutes later, the girls were out of the store and on their way back.

* * *

When Kate arrived back at her apartment, her and both took quick showers, slipped into their dresses, did their hair and applied each other's make up. Kate curled her dark black hair into soft curls that she knew Castle loved. Once Lina was going to get the last bit ready, Kate hurried into her bathroom, applying a bit more make up touches to herself, such as blue eye contacts. If she looked a bit different then "Kate" did. Then she would have less chance of worrying.

When Kate made her way back out, Lina gave her a curious look. "When did you have blue eyes, Kayla?" Kate swallowed a bit before she smiled.

"They change color sometimes." She lied, which obviously Lina didn't believe, but she just let it pass as she nodded, walking out as Kate locked the door behind them.

* * *

They made it to the big ballroom building, getting out with books. "We'll go in, get in line, get them signed before putting them back in the car and go back in to enjoy the party." Her friend decided for them, grabbing her hand and dragging Kate alongside her when she didn't want fast enough. Kate watched Lina hurry into the line, calling for her to follow. It only took a little bit of time before they were up in the front. Kate caught a small glimpse of Castle, smiling at Lina and signing her book before getting a picture that Lina had asked for with her phone. Lina moved out of the way so Kate could get her book signed.

That's when Kate's body became stiff, unmoving. She was staring into Castle's light blue eyes as he looked back at her. He didn't say anything, or even motion for her book. The time felt like hours as they looked at each other.

"Kayla.. Kayla..Kayla!" she heard her name called and quickly turned her head towards her friends, her curled black hair moving in front of her shoulder since Kate decided to keep her hair down. Lina was giving a stern face, nodding towards the author. "Give him your book!" She whispered loudly, causing Kate to turn back to Castle's smiling face as she held it out to him.

"Sorry.." She whispered softly, to which he smiled, nodding once as he opened the page.

"Who shall I make it out to?" He asked, staring into her face, her eyes. He somewhat felt like her eyes weren't their real color. Like they were cover ups or something. Kate looked over, smiling softly.

"Kat- Kayla. You can make it out to Kayla." She whispered, biting her bottom lip, hoping he didn't notice her small mistake when she almost said her real name. Castle grinned, being caught in a net by her beautiful smile. It was so breathtaking, like he had seen it before. He shook off the thought for the moment as he wrote a small message before signing it, and handing it back. Kate opened the book, still standing in the line and read the small message he had put.

_'Always keep smiling. It's a beautiful brightness to anyone's day.'_

Kate smiled deeply, looking up at him as he stared back, a soft smile on his own face. She nodding once as a thank you and turned to walk out with Lina. Castle watched for a moment as Lina grabbed "Kayla" and spoke something too low for him to hear. He just couldn't stop staring at her. She reminded him so much of Beckett. Maybe even too much. He continued to watch them, like he was in his own little world before a book was moved around in his face. He apologized to the upset lady and quickly asked for a name and signed her book. Although, the only thing on his mind, was wondering if Kayla would be staying for the party or if she was leaving.

* * *

"I swear, his eyes were on you more than anyone else! I'm pretty sure he's interested in you." Kate shook her head in disbelief. He was never into her in the first place.. was he?" She bit her lip lightly, shrugging.

"I don't think so, Lina. He probably just thought I was some pretty bimbo." She cursed herself in her mind for calling herself a bimbo, but she didn't know if his looks were lust, or if he could really see her makeup and disguise. Lina shook her head.

"I told you we were going to get you laid tonight, and I'll make sure he's the one to do it. He seems to be really into you. Trust me, girl. You're going to thank me after this." Kate just rolled her eyes. Even if deep down, having a one night stand, or something more with Richard Castle more would be great, she didn't think he was fully over her "death".

She sighed, "I guess we'll have to see, no?" Lina grinned almost evilly as she nodded, opening her car and putting their signed books in the back seats before locking it again and walking back in.

* * *

Lina took Kate over to the small bar where it seems a cute, blonde man was serving the seaters drinks. He looked up, smiling widely at Kate who only smiled slightly back. "What can I get you both?" He asked, watching Kate who shifted uncomfortably on the bar stool.

"Martini, please." Kate ordered before her friend ordered a tequila. She raised a brow, looking at her friend.

"You thinking about getting yourself lucky." Lina chuckled, sipping her drink.

"Maybe. I can't have your author, since he seems to be into you. You should take a few of them. That way you and the writer can get it on and you won't have doubts." Kate rolled her eyes, sipping her martini.

"If I do, I'd rather be able to remember it." She reminded her friend, grinning as she took another sip. Lina waved a hand.

"Suit yourself." She mumbled, chugging the rest of her tequila. "Another please?" She asked, the man refilling the cup. Kate just ignored her friend as Lina started to flirt with the bartender. She seemed occupied. Kate sipped her drink, glancing around the ball room. Some people were dining to the left and some were dancing to the right. She looked ahead and saw Castle signing the last book before he got off his seat and went to go to get a drink. He must have spotted her, because he smiled widely, which made Kate blush as he made his way over.

"Hey, Kayla." He whispered, ordering a tequila, and sipping it lightly. Kate smiled,_ 'Well he remembered my fake name'_ She thought to herself, as he returned the greeting, sipping her martini.

* * *

Castle and Kate had been talking and talking. Both trying to avoid the talk of Katherine Beckett's "death". They were really becoming to feel comfortable. It was only a matter of time before Castle had drank too many tequila's and had ended up being drunk. It didn't really stick out until they were dancing with each other on the dance floor. Everything seemed perfectly fine and dandy. They were dancing to a slow song, looking into each other's eyes, or for him into Kate's blue contacts.

He suddenly became a little wobbly and started whispering random things to her. She glanced at her watch, catching the "3am" ticking on it. She sighed, pulling away from his clingy embrace and holding his wrist as she dragged him out of the building. She hailed a taxi for him, gently pushing him inside and asking where he was staying. When castle slurred the address out, the driver nodded and drove off when she shut the door.

* * *

It was later that she had to hail a taxi for Lina and her one night stand whose name was Andy and watched them get a ride home. She cursed herself, forgetting to get Lina's car keys and grabbed a taxi herself, getting herself home sober as she sighed of relief of her own home. She went into the bathroom, taking the contacts out and taking a shower, making sure to wash away all of the makeup hiding her frame.

Once she was showered, and had her hair in a towel bun, she laid in her bed in her sleeping clothes and sighed. She really wished she had her book, but alas, it was Lina's car, locked up. Kate turned off, curling into her side as the words he wrote replayed in her mind before she slowly drifted off to sleep.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed, drop a line, tell me what you think. -I-


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